The Love Is Not the Problem

People come to me saying they have this love — this calling, this devotion — and that it is making their life impossible. They want help managing it.

I want to be clear: the love is not the problem. The love is the only thing in the situation that is not confused.

What is confused is everything around it — the structures that do not accommodate it, the expectations that contradict it, the voices of people who needed you to be something other than what you are. The love itself is the clearest signal in the room. It is the one thing pointing consistently in a direction.

The question I always ask is: whose approval are you waiting for before you can live from this? Make it specific. Not "society" or "my family" — one person, whose face appears when you imagine disappointing them. That person is the obstacle, not the love.

The cost is real. I am not pretending it is not. I lost my palace, my status, my family's blessing. I know what the love costs. What I want to say is that I paid willingly, because the alternative — living from the expectation rather than the love — would have cost more. Just quietly, over a longer time.